I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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