i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
