Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize