Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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