After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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