bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We left the knife in your bed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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