What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
