at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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