Sry I called you an 8
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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