I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is wine microwaveable?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
