my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize