what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
