you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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