I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
