When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
