hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How external is "for external use only"?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
