and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
