i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
