If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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