you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize