Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
