that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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