Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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