I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she peed on how many people?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
