Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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