i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
