dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
