erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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