Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
