Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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