Have you finally orgasmed yet?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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