Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize