My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
