you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
