Your mouth is God's brothel.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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