If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
