Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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