Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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