So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The maid of honor just puked.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
