For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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