I showed him my bush... on skype.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
