Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
