HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
