life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize