I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
bring money and cleavage
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
