I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
