This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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