There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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