I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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