Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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