i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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