im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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