there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
