Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
