Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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