Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
