I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up under a house in Key West
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
