angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
