My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
