Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
