I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
