so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
