I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Pooping to opera.
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