Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
